Honestly….maybe it is just a new chapter

Honestly, I am always afraid of life-changing decisions.

When I finished my studies and was about to start conquering the corporate world I thought, that after 13 years at school and 4 years at University my whole life would change now. I was so excited to start working, earning money, having a nice flat and just living the good life. But honestly… nothing changed. Yes, I earned money and my days looked different than before where I had so much time to spare and long nights learning. But besides my daily rhythm, my furniture, and my bank account nothing changed. I didn’t change.

When I quit my daytime job a few years later I thought that now being my own boss and being completely independent will change my whole life. I started working the first day at my home office, made some coffee, started my iMac and realized that besides the surrounding, and my loneliness nothing had changed. I was independent, nobody told me what to do and my daily rhythm changed from driving to an office to work from home. But nothing else changed, because I didn’t change.

When Conrad asked me a few years later if I want to marry him and I said yes I thought that now my whole life was about to change. I was going to be a married woman with a different name and somehow it must feel different to be married. I woke up the morning after our wedding and looked at my hand where the small golden wedding band lay around my left-hand ring finger. We went to the airport for our little honeymoon and I checked in with a different name and we sat down at the gate waiting. It felt good, the name change felt different but my life hadn’t changed at all. We were still us and I was still me.

There are so many moments in life where you think that circumstances will change everything. There are circumstances, events, and situations that will have an influence on your life but it doesn’t mean they will change who you are, what you like, what you feel. Maybe sometimes we just have to take the leap of faith to take the chance and change our lives, live the dream, say yes to new adventures because after all: you wills till be you and your life doesn’t change, just a new chapter opens up in the book that is called your life.